Thank You Taylor Swift

Thank you Taylor Swift, you might be wondering why, but Taylor proved that she can push through all the negative comments and people, and achieve something that no woman has ever done before: she was the first to win Album of the Year twice. 6 years ago at the MTV awards we all remember that sad moment when Kayne acted as if he was 5 years old and stormed the stage to basically tell the world Taylor did not deserve the award. I was personally heartbroken for her, because winning any award is an amazing feat. Regardless of what others may think,   I think tonight proved why Taylor has been deserving of all of her awards received this far. Taylor’s speech was by far powerful and humbling. I will post the video below, but what I took from it was there are going to people in our life time, who may try to take credit for everything you’ve done, or try to tear you down negatively, but if you take those comments and continue to push forward only greatness can be achieved. And when your on top one day, those very same people who tried to tear you down in any way possible, won’t even matter, but the people who stood by you whether it was good or bad, they will be the reason why you are where you are and the feeling is will be great and lots of love to go around. And that is what I took from Taylor Swift Tonight. Thank you Taylor Swift for your empowering words. Because of you there are many young women out there who may not of had the confidence to go and do something they loved, or there may have been someone out there who didn’t want to continue something because of the negative comments happening . Because of you many young women who were once down, will soon be on top, because of you there will be courage to fight and prove others wrong. Thank you Taylor Swift for helping women who may not have had the overall confidence to do something, and letting everyone know that they will be able to achieve whatever they desire too. Thank you Taylor for reassuring women everywhere that they will and can be successful. We just have to believe that we can and once again use the nay-sayers and negative comments to help motivate us to what we can achieve.

I can’t say it enough THANK YOU TAYLOR SWIFT!

HERE IS HER SPEECH

 

 

RAVEN SYMONE’s COMMENT ON THE VIEW ABOUT NAMES

I sadly looked up to Raven when I was younger, and I am ashamed to know that she was one of my role models. I am truly offended by Raven Symone’s comment on the view basically saying that she will not hire anyone with a “Ghetto” name. My name is not a typical name that you hear all of the time, but at the same time some people do consider it to be ghetto but for me I consider it to be unique. It’s different. I feel that no one’s name should determine whether or not you hire them. If I meet the credentials and your expectations for a job, then I feel that I should at least be considered for it. I didn’t choose my name, my parents did and I appreciate it. Yes, I do have a choice to change it, but I wouldn’t change it for the world because my name is very unique and different. I work my behind off with everything I do, but my name shouldn’t matter if I qualify for a job or not. . If you’re not going to hire me, don’t hire me because I don’t meet your credentials, don’t hire me because I was late to the interview, don’t hire me because there was someone who may have been stronger as a candidate than me, but please do not hire me because of my name.

Video from the view is below

Someone who can Listen

Sometimes we all need that one person who is just willing to listen. Someone who won’t judge us by our actions, or cut us off to share there personal opinions.  Someone who you know that you can count on when times are tough, and someone who apart of your journey every step of the way.

Fear of Failure

One of my hugest fears is failure. I am honestly afraid to fail. But today as I learned that no one is perfect, and sometimes we may have down falls, but through our difficulties and through the pain, we become stronger and much wiser than before.

Confidence: My Best Friend but Worst Enemy

I wonder sometimes what the future holds and how successful i will be. But i often fail to tell myself that “i believe in me.“ My passion soon becomes something very hard to see, again i fail to tell myself that “i believe in me.“i search for happiness and joy, but somehow will come up short. I didn’t see Gods will this time, or even wait for his report. He wanted me to ask him, “what is it that i need?“ so simple was the answer “Just believe in me.”

It’s not a secret that I lack confidence in myself and school work.  I think recently though it’s been my school work more than anything. I know what I am doing, I know the material but when it comes to believing in the work I have produced…I have no confidence. Two of my teachers approached me this semester, and told me that they notice I have no confidence when I answer questions or  turn in assignments. I mean I get A’s and B’s on them, but they told me that they think that I let what others think about success affect me. –> That’s the truth in a way.

But recently God truly did show me who was there for me, and that the people who I was currently hanging out with were not the ones.  They were “playing the fence” on my life. I was with people who were quick to put me down. I ended up hating shopping even more, I wanted to be to myself half of the times, and I didn’t understand why I was becoming the way I was. It was bad and I started to distance myself from them. I know you are probably wondering “Why did I still consider them my friends?” I guess it’s because i thought i trusted them, and that they said so much stuff to put me down, that I started to believe in those things, and it affected me.

But sometimes you have to go through the bad in order to realize the good in your life. That’s what happened to me. I just let go and let God. He put people in my life who really loved me for me. They have been there for me since day 1, but since I was so caught up with the other people who were negative, I did not realize this is who God had planned to be in my life. A friend made me realize today that In order to love others, I need to love myself, and I need to believe in myself.  That will be a statement that I will carry with me into the new year as well as everything that I have learned from this semester, from my true friends who God has kept in my life.

I’ve learned that there are always two sides to a story.  I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person i want to be. I’ve learned that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.  I’ve learned that quantity is not as important as quality when it comes to best friends. I’ve learned that it isn’t enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world will not stop for your grief. I’ve learned that background and circumstances might have influenced who I am, but I am responsible for who I become. I’ve learned that no matter how old or wise I think I am, life never stops teaching.

2015 is a new year and confidence is the #1 thing on my goal list, and with the help of those around me, I know that i will accomplish it and will believe in myself to do it. Confidence

I AM NOT WHAT OTHERS SAY ABOUT ME!

I am not a victim of what is said to me.
I am not depressed. I am living.
I am not broken. I am healing.
I am not fearing. I am loving.
I am not weak. I am strong and complete.
I am not sad or hoping. I am giving and receiving.
I am not crying. I am laughing.
I am not powerless. I am powerful beyond measure.

I am not worthless. I am as beautiful as God created me to be.
I am not being destroyed. I am as strong as a statue.
I am not weird. I am a unique individual who is simply just being her self.
I am not trash. I am needed.
I am not dwelling in the reflections of the past. I am working in the present to move towards my future.
I am not alone or abandoned. I am loved by many who care.
I will not forget. I will remember anyone who was there.
I will not change who I am, for anyone. I will show everyone, that I do belong!

Am I making the right decision or am I a poor leader?

Sometimes I wonder who I am what my purpose is in life,  but recently ive been feeling weird lately. I haven’t been my self, but maybe that is because there is a lot going on in my mind at least lately.  I have been stressed over organizations, friends, school work, work in general. I feel like I do a lot for myself, and sometimes I just don’t know when enough is enough. And i know that I have to learn to do that.

I am a leader on my campus, and sometimes I feel that if I just give up others are going to either give up on  me, judge me in negative ways, or will not want to have anything to do with  me. Sometimes I really do feel pressured to stay with certain things but then I wonder am I doing the right thing at the end of the day.

All of my friends are wonderful and amazing and are always there, but sometimes I do wonder how we became friends only because i am like the complete opposite from everyone. I am very introverted, and I like to stay in and chill and just be alone all of the time. I am always into my school work as well.  I study at least 8 hours a day, for 6 different subjects, its a lot but my grades are worth it in the end.

I am apart of some organizations, where I am currently faced with the thought of leaving one of them, because it is too much for me. It breaks my heart every time I give up something because i feel like I am leaving people in the dark about everything.  My advisor told me that if I quit she doesn’t know what she will do.

Because of everything going on, I question my leadership capabilities, and who i am. Sometimes people don’t understand that whatever may be going on in my life has nothing to deal with them although my actions may show it. I have a lot going on and i just wonder, if I quit doing what i am doing will I regret it and I feel like that is the biggest question I have right now at least in my life. I have a big decision to make within the next week and honestly I don’t know if I can do it, because I will be throwing everything i’ve been through away. All I can do for right now is to pray.

Feeling like an Outsider

Sometimes when I come home from school, I feel like such an outsider. I do the same things as always work at McDonalds, go to church, or watch my sister. I feel useless or “used” in a better since.

It breaks my heart sometimes because I will tell my family some stuff and then the wording switches around. I get it I need to work to  make money for school, but is that what my life is all about? My sister is now 19 and I feel that all I ever do is tend to her needs regardless if I am supposed to or not when my parents are or not home. I don’t feel like an individual college student. I understand that she has problems and can’t do a lot on her own which is why I am always there to help her, but I never feel like I get to be myself when I am home. I am up early in the morning until late at night, I have to be proper, make sure everything is done correctly and most importantly be respectful and mind my manners. (which I always do).

I’m thinking about when I graduate college, of getting my own place. Something to just call my own. People are always wondering why I never do anything fun, or why I am always working. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Now you may be wondering don’t I have other sisters as well? Yes I do, but they are more outspoken than me and are not afraid to speak their minds, because when they do, they basically can do whatever. And shove everything in their face to prove that they are more better than me.  I am more of the observer in the family. I just watch everything and keep all of my feelings in, because I know no one won’t listen to me anyways.

I just feel like I am used and anything I would say doesn’t matter. I usually write all of my feelings in a journal and hide them as always, but my journal is packed away in my college bin. I hate not being able to hang out with my friends or just to even go and sit with someone who I havent seen in a long time. People always say “you need some me time!” BUT i dont even understand what that is because I never get any me time. Even when I am at school, I go to work everyday( I have 2 jobs), I am always in the lab, & making sure i am on top of my work. I feel bad sometimes because i do want to go out with my friends, but like I always say my school work comes first and so i end up doing that. All i want to do is make my parents/family proud but it is hard. I feel that I cant go to noone in my family because all they will do is judge me and take offense to what ever I have to say, and then they would go back and tell other family members what I say. It’s like i entrusted in you my feelings and this is what you do? (and trust me they have before)

I just don’t know what to do. I am in this position where I feel that I need to let them know how I am feeling but i cant because I dont want feelings to be hurt. I do feel however, feel like I am an outsider, I have no privacy, I barely hang out w/ my friends, I dont get any me time, I am just another human being trying to make it on my own everyday.

A role model in my life

 I have known her since I was 12 and the impact that she has made on my life is incredible, and I want to say that I am very grateful for this person being in my life.

When I first met Phebe, I was extremely shy, as i have said before I am really shy when I meet new people. I had very low self esteem, I didn’t think I belonged here, I was letting people get to me and everything they had to say about me. I just didn’t like who I was. Phebe helped me realize that I am a gift from God and that I am made in his image.  She put things into perspective that the only person at the end of the day who can truly judge me is God himself. She also helped me to realize that if I truly keep the faith, and believe that I could do something, then it can get done. I feel that w/o Phebe in my life, I really don’t know where I would be.

Phebe is like one of my number 1 supporters when I am in school as well as when I am home. She is ALWAYS looking out for me and just wants the best for me. She communicates when me, and when I have a favor or need something she is there right away to help me.  I honestly consider her as an older sister from another mother. 

Last summer, I hit a down in my life. I was very negative, I was letting people get to me, i just wasn’t the person who I was used to being. And maybe that is because people were tearing my self esteem apart by comparing me to my sisters and making fun of me. I was a wreck. I decided to go to the City Wide Revival that was going on and I had been going all week by this point. And i believe it was in the middle of the week that it had hit me, that everything that had been going on was nothing but the enemy. There are those times in life when you go to church, and you feel like the pastor’s message is directly reflecting on what is happening in your life, and that night at church I felt that is what  happened. I remember towards the end of service I was in literal tears, and she came up to me and talked to me. She explained to even though I don’t know at times which direction I’m heading in, nor the outcome of the path life takes me on, that God will be there to guide me through. I have to stop letting people get to me so quickly. I have to be the one to find my true identity and who I am. I have to maintain confidence and believe in myself, because if I don’t then no one will  That night was truly a hitter, but Phebe’s advice really helped me and it opened my eyes up.

I am so grateful for Phebe.  Honestly who knows where I would be if it weren’t for her entering my life. I feel that it was a blessing from God and that there was a purpose for her being there. I just want Phebe to know that she is truly my role model, inspiration, sister-in-Christ and I am forever thankful for her. I wouldn’t have as much confidence or as high of a self esteem if it weren’t for her. I love her and thankful for her being there. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making a positive difference in my community

Its hard today for youth/young adults in general because of all of the negativity going on around us. I have made it my mission to make a positive change in my community at home and my community at school by giving back every chance that i have. I really just want the world to know that there are young people out here making a difference regardless of all the harm that is going on out there. I hope you enjoy my video.